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What’s love without pain
sunshine without rain?
Day in day I reach for power but end with destruction.
My time is now!
It’s either all or nothin’
Time waits for no woman or girl
So I sit in school and work my ass of like for an education like a clam waiting on a pearl
Long bright nights and short dark mornings keeps me from thinking twice…
I’ll get mine the way I get it and you’ll get yours
My dreams are bright and soon come to be reality I can taste it!
One day they’ll all be either or happy or mad I made it.
Why?!
Cause I claimed it!
To you an education ain’t shit
To me my life ain’t shit educating about it
Don’t mistake me for the old me
Uncontrolled and rebellious taking other girls fellas
Learning means growing and yeah that’s me
What I came to be
Young, smart no longer flashy but a brand new classier me
Why you can’t be happy cause I’m doing me?

Really losing my grip

Life is really not making any sense

How is it possible to trust, believe or have faith

I feel as though I’ve lost all innocence while trying to save my grace

It’s all gone!

It’s all over!

I don’t fear or feel what I did before…

The love I once had seems  to be some sort of mathematical equation with “no solution

….it can NEVER be solved

The bazaar part is that I never had it all… I made sure you did I made sure you’d never fall

I’d always be there…..

I gave a fuck!!

You didn’t

Now sitting alone in a cold room with just a sheet and my thoughts I got lost

I lost it

Its cold in this place

No food

No water

No such thing as class or grace

Just a room of broken hearts and spirits hoping to feel the sun kiss their skin

A chance to breathe clean air or hear a familiar voice with out it being a conference 

Waiting and wishing to come home

Time is all I have yet isn’t on my side …

OH NO ITS REAL! ITS REAL! ITS REALLY REAL!

The bruises, bumps, scratches and bites will heal

But NEVER will the LOVE and CARE arise from such a flower 

Picked and un-watered 

Weary and drying out 

Every morning….afternoon mid day and night not sleeping can’t eat

Surrounded but yet no one cares nor understands the fight 

… Fighting to carry on 

Life still goes on whether physically here or not

Going on as a reality show over and over in my head that night(1012) thinking this can not be reality

Good people shouldn’t be punished for feeding, clothing or caring

When did my kisses, hugs and love stop being enough?

When did I become inadequate?!

Why did my world come to an end?

Nothings perfect, never will be 

I find it crazy that I’ve lost another person again but all is said and done

… and she’s gone, farewell rest in love to a beautiful soul, Deszanae Wilkins

09-21-89 ~ 10-12-12